Simple Holidays: Advent Activities

I don't know about you, but I have gone looking for lists of Christmas Countdown / Advent activities for the past couple of years, and have come up short.

Somehow, other people's ideas of "toddler-appropriate" activities are much more involved than I am willing to get.  It would be lovely to go on Christmas outings every night, or make elaborate treats with the kids, or sleep under the Christmas tree, but I'm a realist (pessimist?)  My kids would get way overstimulated, we don't have that kind of time on school nights, they'd make a huge mess and eat way too many cookies, and there's no flippin' WAY any of us would get any sleep in the living room on the floor surrounded by tempting ornaments and each other.

So after much researching and brainstorming, this is the list I have come up with of truly simple activities appropriate for small children.  A list compiled by an aspiring minimalist, whose kids operate best with a firm schedule and short activites.

1. Watch Charlie Brown Christmas
2. Put the angel (or other topper) on the Christmas tree
3. Set up the nativity scene
4. Put up __a decoration___ in your (kid's) room
5. Trip to Dairy Queen
6. Bake a treat (we made brownies from a mix.  Really.)
7. Make a paper chain
8. Papercraft: Construction paper Christmas tree with red dots (dot marker)
9. Wrap a gift (or several, depending on your patience.  I mean, your kids' patience?
10. Cocoa party
11. Read __insert favorite classic Christmas picture book here___
12. Go on a car ride to look at Christmas lights
13. Cinnamon dough Christmas ornaments
14. Decorate Christmas cookies (pre-made? Mix? Break and place dough?)
15. Christmas milkshakes (a milkshake with something mint in it)

That's it.  The other 9 days in my advent drawers are filled with candy.
We can't do an activity every single night!  Especially nights when we have church services or some other crazy busy situation going on.  Those nights the kids have a piece of candy and we go on our way.

How do you fill your Advent calendar or Christmas countdown?  Any truly easy traditions you keep with your littles?

Motherhood Masochism

This is going to get blunt.  It might not agree with you.  It might seem rude.
Such is my life.  Here we go, anyway.

I am getting very weary of motherhood masochism.
Complaining.
Whining.
Desperation.
Wine jokes.
Self-induced stress.
Lack of sleep.
Broadcasting troubles.
Negativity.
Pessimism.

Seriously.  Very tired of all of that.
I used to think it irritated me because I was on the outside of that world; I was a working mom.  Of course I was burning out and feeling awful, because I was in charge of 25+ children that were not my own for 10 hours a day, then coming home to my own.  What on earth were stay-at-home mothers complaining about?

But now I've been there.
I am in the middle of the trenches.  In year 2 of staying home full time, with two children (boys, no less) under the age of 3.
And it is even more annoying to me, now.

Motherhood masochism seems to be very prevalent across social media.  Women bemoaning their daily lives, their choices, their children.  To be completely honest, that's what it is - fishing for sympathy using negativity and cynicism about their children.
You chose to have these children.  You chose to be home with them.  You choose to spend each day the way you spend it.  Stop whining.

If that seems a little strong, consider how you would speak about your job if your children were listening.

If your kids are poorly behaved all day every day, it's up to you to teach them differently.
If your house is a mess, it's up to you to figure out a better chore schedule, cut down on possessions/clutter, or enlist help.
If you're tired, it's up to you to create routines that allow you to sleep enough at night.
If you haven't been out of the house in months, it's up to you to plan activities for your family where you get out and about.  Or to send a letter.  Or make a phone call.
If you feel unfulfilled/unchallenged, it is up to you to treat motherhood professionally and pour your gifts into it.
If you are not satisfied with your spouse's contributions, your physical appearance, your pet's training, your debt... it is up to you to discover new ways of doing things that improve your family's relationships, health, and comfort.

That is your job.
Your job is not to be a babysitter.  You are not just a warm body to be present in the house and hope emergencies don't arise.  You don't just churn out a few meals a day and occasionally scrub a toilet and try to keep children/creatures barely alive.  That is simply not enough.

My goal is not mom-shaming.
I believe in lots and lots of grace, many mistakes, plenty of flexibility.
Different approaches work for different families.
There is certainly a place for discussing your challenges with other moms, receiving emotional support, fresh ideas, and love.

My goal is that you realize that there is no place for martyrdom in this wonderful, intense, messy profession.  Anything that is dissatisfying is yours to fix.  You are the master of your domain, the mistress of your house, your own boss.  That means you can change anything! You can recreate whatever you need to!  You can innovate and experiment and research to your heart's content.

Perhaps the actual problem is that you have way too much on your plate. God does not call us to stand on the edge of sanity.  Simplify your life. Cut down activities, possessions, and schedules until you can do your job well.  Until you can serve your family wholeheartedly (most of the time) and proficiently (most of the time.)

Enjoy your glass of wine after the kids go to bed.  Just stop broadcasting on Facebook that you need it to survive your children.

Fall Wardrobe Inspiration

Ooh, fall clothes!
Fall/Winter clothes, really.

My favorite season. Honestly, I'm pretty inspired by a stack of scarves and a pair of riding boots.
But! This will eventually accompany a video about my wardrobe, so here we go.


Where I found this!

Let's be realistic- this sums up what I would wear on a daily basis. Black skinny pants, chambray shirt, brown riding boots, scarf, sweater, simple earrings, chunky watch.

 
Where I found this!                                           And this!
Since I bought some rain boots for myself, and I have a poncho-esque garment, this will probably make an appearance.  I don't carry a handbag, and that's definitely not a practical way to use an umbrella, but it's just an inspiration photo, right?  The second photo is less of a stretch, essentially just substituting my rain boots for riding boots in my normal outfits.

I wear a lot more pants in the fall and winter.  As in, in summer I keep out two pair of pants in my capsule and I occasionally wear one of them.  In winter, I have more like 5 pair of pants that I wear almost every day.  (I don't believe in leggings AS pants, but I love me a tunic and leggings.)


Where I found this

If I do wear a dress, it's probably like this, plus leggings.  I have never figured out in what climate it is appropriate to wear riding boots and a scarf with bare legs.  But I recently got a chambray dress (at Goodwill, for $1.99!) so this is going to be in heavy rotation.

So there we go!  Three major "lobes" to my fall/winter meal planning.  All designed for a mom who wear real clothes (no gym clothes here!) but are easily washable, appropriate for a Midwest fall/winter, and transitional from nursing to not.  (What?  Crewneck shirts? Where have you been for the last year of my life?)

Stay tuned for an accompanying video of my fall/winter capsule wardrobe!

Daily Routines

Let's be honest - "morning routines" were one of those things I thought were total hogwash.
A mystical creation of work-at-home moms who wanted to seem awesome on social media.
A farse.
Nobody really does this. Nobody actually does the exact same things every morning that include cleaning.  Nobody schedules their day like this.

Well...
I was wrong.

I don't think you must have a morning routine in order to be a professional mother. (And I do believe that being a stay-at-home mom is, in fact, a profession and should be treated as such.)  But I do think they can form naturally and be super helpful.


Before moving to our new home, I had neither a night nor morning routine.  I was basically flying by the seat of my mom pants, and I didn't know I had a problem.  Our new house is larger and requires more "housekeeping" to stay up to my standards, and my current baby is getting big and needing more specific schedules and attention, and my husband has gone back to full-time teaching at a permanent position, so my day has gotten fuller.  In a wonderful way, but fuller.
In order to fit everything in and still sleep a relatively healthy amount (I am not about motherhood masochism) I decided to do a few tasks before bed and in the morning before the kids get up, largely tasks I never did daily before.  And thus, a routine was born!

Some nights/mornings they don't get done.  I'm trying not to beat myself up about it when that happens, when sometimes I choose extra sleep or hanging out with my hubby or helping do some school work instead of tidying up my house.  It depends on the day's demands.  But it's nice to have slots to fit these activities into instead of constantly regretting that they're falling through the cracks.  It's good to know that these cleaning activities will get done almost daily, that my house most mornings will be clean and quiet, that if people drop by my home will be clean and inviting.   That I will be able to find everything I need if I need to rush out the door in the morning.

Stay tuned for full posts about my morning routine and night time routine!

Meal Planning, Differently

I cannot figure out how to meal plan traditionally
 I have read/watched lots of mom-bloggers and vloggers and many seem to plan out a week or more of meals, then hit up Costco or Sam's Club and buy all the things needed to have said meals.  Some do a wonderful job of stocking up on meat or staples on sale, and keeping multiple pantries or freezers full of things to use in future weeks.

Here is my struggle:

First off, I don't belong to any warehouse clubs.  I have never been able to justify the membership fees, or the drive to the nearest one (20 miles), nor do I have multiple pantries or a deep freezer.

Second, I have a rather poor selection of grocery stores near me (no Aldi or Trader Joe's or discount groceries!)

Third, I refuse to coupon.  I don't have the attention span/patience for that, and I don't subscribe to a physical newspaper.

So I spend an arm and a leg on groceries?
Nope.
I quite literally don't buy any food items that aren't on sale.

Essentially, I meal plan in reverse.

I get my weekly grocery store ads on Wednesday.  During nap time, I sit down and make a grocery list by seeking out the food we eat that is on sale or store coupon.  I am looking mostly for meat, produce, and dairy, as we don't really eat processed food. (Personal preference, we actually don't like the taste of most processed food.  We are not food snobs.  We eat a lot of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and M&Ms, okay?)
Neither store I have available requires me to actually cut out coupons, so I just take my ad to the store with me and they scan whatever coupons apply.  I do not clip coupons from anywhere.  If the store has a hanger-coupon-thingy by an item, great, I'll pull it off and take it with me to the checkout.

I make my list for each store, then I get out my list of dinners.  I compare the dinners list to the fresh foods on my shopping list, and decide 5 meals I can make to use the produce or meat that is on sale this week.
Then I plug them into my weekly planner based on amount of prep time, my husband's after-school schedule, and events going on.

That's it.
We shop on Saturdays, together as a family (free activity!) and my husband makes Saturday dinner (so I don't plan it.)  On Sunday, we tend to make a large meal like roast or a whole chicken, which we use as leftovers if we need more food for lunches or if we will be very busy one afternoon.  I usually have the freezer space to freeze half a roast if necessary.


Speaking of, we have leftovers for lunch.  Everybody, every day.
And we eat cold cereal, toast, or oatmeal for breakfast.

Done.

It's not fancy.  Sometimes it gets repetitious because of seasonal vegetables or dry spells in meat sales.  Some weeks we have precious little meat, or the same meat every night.
But that's okay!  We eat mostly whole foods, mostly healthy, and it gets done on a budget.  Goals accomplished.

Keep a lookout for my list of dinners!  I'll link it here when it's finished.
Also something about my planner.  Which might be my second-best friend in the world.

Souvenirs for Kids

...that aren't garbage.  Or toys.

When I was a kid, my dad traveled a few times a year for work.  He always brought back souvenirs for my sister and me, which was ridiculously exciting to my little hoarder self.  Postcards, t-shirts, stuffed animals, plastic travel mugs, tiny statue replicas... You name it, I had it.

I love what my dad was trying to do - generate a fun surprise for when he got home.  And it was wonderful!  

But the stuff.  

Oh my.

Going on a trip, and wanting to buy your children/grandchildren/nieces and nephews/nanny charges something? Great! Here's some suggestions on how to do that without clogging up their room with stuff.

Washcloths or towels.  Especially those kind that come all compressed into a little brick and then revive when you wet them.  It's super fun to make them grow, but then you have a very useful item left over.  Those washcloths are actually really soft and big!  Bonus: easy to fit in your suitcase!

These adorable washcloths are from Grandma and Grandpa's trip to Hawaii.  I don't know what "A Coconut Named Bob" is about, but it's SO CUTE an SOFT.  Big L enjoyed wetting them and watching them "grow."

A pen/pencil or eraser (for school aged children.). They can can use it at school and tell their friends about their cool relative who went cool places.  And it is consumable.  Rulers and folders are also good possibilities!

Candy/regional snacks.  Does your location have a particular packable food item that kids would like?  Saltwater taffy from the coast? Fudge from Michigan?  Maple sugar candies from Vermont or Canada?

1 T-shirt, 1 size too big.
Because they are already wearing their current size, so obviously mom and dad have dealt with their current wardrobe and they have enough clothes.  The shirt will get more wear if it is an intentional part of their next wardrobe.

A book.  Now, I am a softy for books - it is the one area of my home I have yet to purge.  That being said, a book about the cool place you went (at an appropriate reading level, of course) might be a perfect souvenir.

A useful item they can grow into.  For example, if your special child is almost ready for a water bottle, or a plate, or a baseball cap, or their own cocoa mug.  That way is not an extra of that item, but  it is the one the child uses daily because his/her parents know they already have one.

Any other great ideas for souvenirs for minimalist kids?  Leave them in a comment!  Happy travels.

Where the rubber meets the Road

So you have your plan, now how do you put it into place? For me it was a realization that no matter what plans I had in my head or on paper, the follow through was the toughest step. So here's what I did:

1) I started using cash. In a world where plastic is just as easy as cash to use, using cash may sound like an extra step to complicate things. It is limit setting though. I knew exactly how much money I have for food, gas, or personal items each month and have to think about the cash that is being handed over as I pay for each item. If I buy these things would I have enough  cash left for groceries before the next paycheck? How is my husband going to get to school or me to work if we drive to this event and needed more gas? Using cash helped me to see the limits that needed to be set in order to not overspend  and put more money on credit cards.

2) I started recording my spending. One would think that if I had a set amount of cash for various things I would no longer need to track where my money was going. Not true. It was even more important now that I track where my money was going. It gave me a record to look back on if I did overspend. It let me say, as much as I like this or that, it isn't a necessity so I can't buy it next month. It also helped me to set the amounts needed. It helped me realize that some of the amounts I had set in my budget were unrealistic. I either needed to find more money for a category, or I found that I didn't need as much money toward a category as I had originally set aside.

3) I found websites to help me. There are so many resources on the web, from alligning with you bank and credit card accounts to allowing you to manually enter your information for easier tracking.  My favorite website for this right now is everydollar.com. It is a Dave Ramsey established website which has a free and premium side. I currently use the free side of the website. It allows me to enter amounts into categories along with transactions so there is less math work on my end. I can go in and see how much is left in each category so I can double check my envelope amounts. The premium side of the website connects with various accounts so you can click and drag transactions to categorize them instead of entering them manually. There are other websites that do this such as mint.com. My advice, find one that works for you.

4) I haven't stopped learning. I'm still refining and tweaking my budget. I am constantly on the search for reading material or classes to learn more about money. How to save it, how to make it work for me instead of me working for it. I recently started tracking food prices. My grocery budget has been maxed out and I love finding ways to find even an extra dollar or two in the money allotted. Tracking prices though time consuming has shown me already that I really don't know the cheapest price that I'm able to get products at. Look for a future post on how to start if you are interested.

Any other ways you've found in helping rubber meet the road? Please leave a comment below.